The man who finds fault with
himself accepts all things cheerfully – misfortune, loss, disgrace,
dishonour and any other kind of adversity. He believes that he is deserving of
all these things and nothing can disturb him. No one could be more at peace
than this man.
But
perhaps you will offer me this objection: “Suppose my brother injures me, and
on examining myself I find that I have not given him any cause. Why should I
blame myself?”
Certainly
if someone examines himself carefully and with fear of God, he will never find
himself completely innocent. He will see that he has given some provocation by
an action, a word or by his manner. If he does find that he is not guilty in
any of these ways, certainly he must have injured that brother somehow at some
other time. Or perhaps he has been a source of annoyance to some other brother.
For this reason he deserves to endure the injury because of many other sins
that he has committed on other occasions.
Someone
else asks why he should accuse himself when he was sitting peacefully and
quietly when a brother came upon him with an unkind or insulting word. He
cannot tolerate it, and so he thinks that his anger is justified. If that
brother had not approached him and said those words and upset him, he never
would have sinned.
This
kind of thinking is surely ridiculous and has no rational basis. For the fact
that he has said anything at all in this situation breaks the cover on the
passionate anger within him, which is all the more exposed by his excessive
anxiety. If he wished, he would do penance. He has become like a clean, shiny
grain of wheat that, when broken, is full of dirt inside.
The
man who thinks that he is quiet and peaceful has within him a passion that he
does not see. A brother comes up, utters some unkind word and immediately all
the venom and mire that lie hidden within him are spewed out. If he wishes
mercy, he must do penance, purify himself and strive to become perfect. He will
see that he should have returned thanks to his brother instead of returning the
injury, because his brother has proven to be an occasion of profit to him. It
will not be long before he will no longer be bothered by these temptations. The
more perfect he grows, the less these temptations will affect him. For the more
the soul advances, the stronger and more powerful it becomes in bearing the
difficulties that it meets.
Source:
The Liturgy of the Hours – Office of Readings
Photo Credit Angela Marie Henriette
Saint Dorotheus
Saint Dorotheus of Gaza - Video
Dortheus of Gaza - Wikipedia
Reading Suggestions
Discernment Matters: Listening With the Ear of the Heart
(Matters Series)
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