Uniformity
to God's Will, Part II
5. Special Practices of Uniformity
Let us now take up in a
practical way the consideration of those matters in which we should unite
ourselves to God’s will.
1. In external matters.
In times of great heat, cold or rain; in times of famine, epidemics and similar
occasions we should refrain from expressions like these: “What unbearable
heat!” “What piercing cold!” “What a tragedy!” In these instances we should avoid
expressions indicating opposition to God’s will. We should want things to be
just as they are, because it is God who thus disposes them. An incident in
point would be this one: Late one night Saint Francis Borgia arrived
unexpectedly at a Jesuit house, in a snowstorm. He knocked and knocked on the
door, but all to no purpose because the community being asleep, no one heard
him. When morning came all were embarrassed for the discomfort he had
experienced by having had to spend the night in the open. The saint, however,
said he had enjoyed the greatest consolation during those long hours of the
night by imagining that he saw our Lord up in the sky dropping the snowflakes
down upon him.
2. In personal matters.
In matters that affect us personally, let us acquiesce in God’s will. For
example, in hunger, thirst, poverty, desolation, loss of reputation, let us
always say: “Do thou build up or tear down, O Lord, as seems good in thy sight.
I am content. I wish only what thou dost wish.” Thus too, says Rodriguez,
should we act when the devil proposes certain hypothetical cases to us in order
to wrest a sinful consent from us, or at least to cause us to be interiorly
disturbed. For example: “What would you say or what would you do if some one
were to say or do such and such a thing to you?” Let us dismiss the temptation
by saying: “By God’s grace, I would say or do what God would want me to say or
do.” Thus we shall free ourselves from imperfection and harassment.
3. Let us not lament if
we suffer from some natural defect of body or mind; from poor memory, slowness
of understanding, little ability, lameness or general bad health. What claim
have we, or what obligation is God under, to give us a more brilliant mind or a
more robust body? Who is ever offered a gift and then lays down the conditions
upon which he will accept it? Let us thank God for what, in his pure goodness,
he has given us and let us be content too with the manner in which he has given
it to us.
Who knows? Perhaps if
God had given us greater talent, better health, a more personable appearance,
we might have lost our souls! Great talent and knowledge have caused many to be
puffed up with the idea of their own importance and, in their pride, they have
despised others. How easily those who have these gifts fall into grave danger
to their salvation! How many on account of physical beauty or robust health
have plunged headlong into a life of debauchery! How many, on the contrary,
who, by reason of poverty, infirmity or physical deformity, have become saints
and have saved their souls, who, given health, wealth or physical
attractiveness had else lost their souls! Let us then be content with what God
has given us. “But one thing is necessary,” and it is not beauty, not health,
not talent. It is the salvation of our immortal souls.
4. It is especially
necessary that we be resigned in corporal infirmities. We should willingly
embrace them in the manner and for the length of time that God wills. We ought
to make use of the ordinary remedies in time of sickness – such is God’s will;
but if they are not effective, let us unite ourselves to God’s will and this
will be better for us than would be our restoration to health. Let us say:
“Lord, I wish neither to be well nor to remain sick; I want only what thou wilt.”
Certainly, it is more virtuous not to repine in times of painful illness; still
and all, when our sufferings are excessive, it is not wrong to let our friends
know what we are enduring, and also to ask God to free us from our sufferings.
Let it be understood, however, that the sufferings here referred to are
actually excessive. It often happens that some, on the occasion of a slight
illness, or even a slight indisposition, want the whole world to stand still
and sympathize with them in their illnesses.
But where it is a case
of real suffering, we have the example of our Lord, who, at the approach of his
bitter passion, made known his state of soul to his disciples, saying: “My soul
is sorrowful even unto death” and besought his eternal Father to deliver him
from it: “Father, if it be possible, let this chalice pass from me.” But our
Lord likewise taught us what we should do when we have made such a petition,
when he added: “Nevertheless, not as I will, but as thou wilt.”
How childish the
pretense of those who protest they wish for health not to escape suffering, but
to serve our Lord better by being able to observe their Rule, to serve the
community, go to church, receive Communion, do penance, study, work for souls
in the confessional and pulpit! Devout soul, tell me, why do you desire to do
these things? To please God? Why then search any further to please God when you
are sure God does not wish these prayers, Communions, penances or studies, but
he does wish that you suffer patiently this sickness he sends you? Unite then
your sufferings to those of our Lord.
“But,” you say, “I do
not want to be sick for then I am useless, a burden to my Order, to my
monastery.” But if you are united to and resigned to God’s will, you will
realize that your superiors are likewise resigned to the dispositions of divine
providence, and that they recognize the fact that you are a burden, not through
indolence, but by the will of God. Ah, how often these desires and these
laments are born, not of the love of God, but of the love of self! How many of
them are so many pretexts for fleeing the will of God! Do we want to please
God? When we find ourselves confined to our sickbed, let us utter this one
prayer: “Thy will be done.” Let us repeat it time and time again and it will
please God more than all our mortifications and devotions. There is no better
way to serve God than cheerfully to embrace his holy will.
Saint John of Avila once
wrote to a sick priest: “My dear friend, – Do not weary yourself planning what
you would do if you were well, but be content to be sick for as long as God
wishes. If you are seeking to carry out God’s will, what difference should it
make to you whether you are sick or well?” The saint was perfectly right, for
God is glorified not by our works, but by our resignation to, and by our union
with, his holy will. In this respect Saint Francis de Sales used to say we
serve God better by our sufferings than by our actions.
Many times it will
happen that proper medical attention or effective remedies will be lacking, or
even that the doctor will not rightly diagnose our case. In such instances we
must unite ourselves to the divine will which thus disposes of our physical
health. The story is told of a client of Saint Thomas of Canterbury, who being
sick, went to the saint’s tomb to obtain a cure. He returned home cured. But
then he thought to himself: “Suppose it would be better for my soul’s salvation
if I remained sick, what point then is there in being well?” In this frame of
mind he went back and asked the saint to intercede with God that he grant what
would be best for his eternal salvation. His illness returned and he was
perfectly content with the turn things had taken, being fully persuaded that
God had thus disposed of him for his own good.
There is a similar
account by Surio to the effect that a certain blind man obtained the
restoration of his sight by praying to Saint Bedasto, bishop. Thinking the
matter over, he prayed again to his heavenly patron, but this time with the
purpose that if the possession of his sight were not expedient for his soul,
that his blindness should return. And that is exactly what happened – he was
blind again. Therefore, in sickness it is better that we seek neither sickness
nor health, but that we abandon ourselves to the will of God so that he may
dispose of us as he wishes. However, if we decide to ask for health, let us do
so at least always resigned and with the proviso that our bodily health may be
conducive to the health of our soul. Otherwise our prayer will be defective and
will remain unheard because our Lord does not answer prayers made without
resignation to his holy will.
Sickness is the acid
test of spirituality, because it discloses whether our virtue is real or sham.
If the soul is not agitated, does not break out in lamentations, is not
feverishly restless in seeking a cure, but instead is submissive to the doctors
and to superiors, is serene and tranquil, completely resigned to God’s will, it
is a sign that that soul is well-grounded in virtue.
What of the whiner who
complains of lack of attention? That his sufferings are beyond endurance? That
the doctor does not know his business? What of the faint-hearted soul who
laments that the hand of God is too heavy upon him?
This story by Saint
Bonaventure in his “Life of Saint Francis” is in point: On a certain occasion
when the saint was suffering extraordinary physical pain, one of his religious
meaning to sympathize with him, said in his simplicity: “My Father, pray God that
he treat you a little more gently, for his hand seems heavy upon you just now.”
Hearing this, Saint Francis strongly resented the unhappy remark of his
well-meaning brother, saying: “My good brother, did I not know that what you
have just said was spoken in all simplicity, without realizing the implication
of your words, I should never see you again because of your rashness in passing
judgment on the dispositions of divine providence.” Whereupon, weak and wasted
as he was by his illness, he got out of bed, knelt down, kissed the floor and
prayed thus: “Lord, I thank thee for the sufferings thou art sending me. Send
me more, if it be thy good pleasure. My pleasure is that you afflict me and
spare me not, for the fulfillment of thy holy will is the greatest consolation
of my life.”
6. Spiritual Desolation.
We ought to view in the
light of God’s holy will, the loss of persons who are helpful to us in a
spiritual or material way. Pious souls often fail in this respect by not being
resigned to the dispositions of God’s holy will. Our sanctification comes
fundamentally and essentially from God, not from spiritual directors. When God
sends us a spiritual director, he wishes us to use him for our spiritual
profit; but if he takes him away, he wants us to remain calm and unperturbed
and to increase our confidence in his goodness by saying to him: “Lord, thou
hast given me this help and now thou dost take it away. Blessed be thy holy
will! I beg thee, teach me what I must do to serve thee.”
In this manner too, we should
receive whatever other crosses God sends us. “But,” you reply, “these
sufferings are really punishments.” The answer to that remark is: Are not the
punishments God sends us in this life also graces and benefits? Our offenses
against God must be atoned for somehow, either in this life or in the next.
Hence we should all make Saint Augustine’s prayer our own: “Lord, here cut,
here burn and spare me not, but spare me in eternity!” Let us say with Job:
“Let this be my comfort, that afflicting me with sorrow, he spare not.” Having
merited hell for our sins, we should be consoled that God chastises us in this
life, and animate ourselves to look upon such treatment as a pledge that God
wishes to spare us in the next. When God sends us punishments let us say with
the high-priest Heli: “It is the Lord, let him do what is good in his sight.”
The time of spiritual
desolation is also a time for being resigned. When a soul begins to cultivate
the spiritual life, God usually showers his consolations upon her to wean her
away from the world; but when he sees her making solid progress, he withdraws
his hand to test her and to see if she will love and serve him without the
reward of sensible consolations. “In this life,” as Saint Teresa used to say,
“our lot is not to enjoy God, but to do his holy will.” And again, “Love of God
does not consist in experiencing his tendernesses, but in serving him with
resolution and humility.” And in yet another place, “God’s true lovers are
discovered in times of aridity and temptation.”
Let the soul thank God
when she experiences his loving endearments, but let her not repine when she
finds herself left in desolation. It is important to lay great stress on this
point, because some souls, beginners in the spiritual life, finding themselves
in spiritual aridity, think God has abandoned them, or that the spiritual life
is not for them; thus they give up the practice of prayer and lose what they
have previously gained. The time of aridity is the best time to practice
resignation to God’s holy will. I do not say you will feel no pain in seeing
yourself deprived of the sensible presence of God; it is impossible for the
soul not to feel it and lament over it, when even our Lord cried out on the
cross: “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” In her sufferings, however,
the soul should always be resigned to God’s will.
The saints have all
experienced desolations and abandonment of soul. “How impervious to things
spiritual, my heart!” cries a Saint Bernard. “No savor in pious reading, no pleasure
in meditation nor in prayer!” For the most part it has been the common lot of
the saints to encounter aridities; sensible consolations were the exceptions.
Such things are rare occurrences granted to untried souls so that they may not
halt on the road to sanctity; the real delights and happiness that will
constitute their reward are reserved for heaven. This earth is a place of merit
which is acquired by suffering; heaven is a place of reward and happiness.
Hence, in this life the saints neither desired nor sought the joys of sensible
fervor, but rather the fervor of the spirit toughened in the crucible of
suffering. “O how much better it is,” says Saint John of Avila, “to endure
aridity and temptation by God’s will than to be raised to the heights of
contemplation without God’s will!”
But you say you would
gladly endure desolation if you were certain that it comes from God, but you
are tortured by the anxiety that your desolation comes by your own fault and is
a punishment for your tepidity. Very well, let us suppose you are right; then
get rid of your tepidity and exercise more diligence in the affairs of your
soul. But because you are possibly experiencing spiritual darkness, are you
going to get all wrought up, give up prayer, and thus make things twice as bad
as they are?
Let us assume that this
aridity is a punishment for your tepidity. Was it not God who sent it? Accept
your desolation, as your just desserts and unite yourself to God’s holy will.
Did you not say that you merited hell? And now you are complaining? Perhaps you
think God should send you consolations! Away with such ideas and be patient
under God’s hand. Take up your prayers again and continue to walk in the way
you have entered upon; for the future, fear lest such laments come from too
little humility and too little resignation to the will of God. Therefore be
resigned and say: “Lord, I accept this punishment from thy hands, and I accept
it for as long as it pleases thee; if it be thy will that I should be thus
afflicted for all eternity, I am satisfied.” Such a prayer, though hard to
make, will be far more advantageous to you than the sweetest sensible
consolations.
It is well to remember,
however, that aridity is not always a chastisement; at times it is a
disposition of divine providence for our greater spiritual profit and to keep
us humble. Lest Saint Paul become vain on account of the spiritual gifts he had
received, the Lord permitted him to be tempted to impurity: “And lest the
greatness of the revelations should exalt me, there was given me a sting of my
flesh, an angel of Satan to buffet me.”
Prayer made amid
sensible devotion is not much of an achievement: “There is a friend, a
companion at the table, and he will not abide in the day of distress.” You
would not consider the casual guest at your table a friend, but only him who
assists you in your need without thought of benefit to himself. When God sends
spiritual darkness and desolation, his true friends are known.
Palladius, the author of
the “Lives of the Fathers of the Desert,” experiencing great disgust in prayer,
went seeking advice from the abbot Macarius. The saintly abbot gave him this
counsel: “When you are tempted in times of dryness to give up praying because
you seem to be wasting your time, say: ‘Since I cannot pray, I will be
satisfied just to remain on watch here in my cell for the love of Jesus
Christ!’ “Devout soul, you do the same when you are tempted to give up prayer
just because you seem to be getting nowhere. Say: “I am going to stay here just
to please God.” Saint Francis de Sales used to say that if we do nothing else
but banish distractions and temptations in our prayers, the prayer is well
made. Tauler states that persevering prayer in time of dryness will receive
greater grace than prayer made amid great sensible devotion.
Rodriguez cites the case
of a person who persevered forty years in prayer despite aridity, and
experienced great spiritual strength as a result of it; on occasion, when
through aridity he would omit meditation he felt spiritually weak and incapable
of good deeds. Saint Bonaventure and Gerson both say that persons who do not
experience the recollection they would like to have in their meditations, often
serve God better than they would do if they did have it; the reason is that
lack of recollection keeps them more diligent and humble; otherwise they would
become puffed up with spiritual pride and grow tepid, vainly believing they had
reached the summit of sanctity.
What has been said of
dryness holds true of temptations also. Certainly we should strive to avoid
temptations; but if God wishes that we be tempted against faith, purity, or any
other virtue, we should not give in to discouraging lamentations, but submit
ourselves with resignation to God’s holy will. Saint Paul asked to be freed
from temptations to impurity and our Lord answered him, saying: “My grace is
sufficient for thee.”
So should we act when we
find ourselves victims of unrelenting temptations and God seemingly deaf to our
prayers. Let us then say: “Lord, do with me, let happen to me what thou wilt;
thy grace is sufficient for me. Only never let me lose this grace.” Consent to
temptation, not temptation of itself, can make us lose the grace of God.
Temptation resisted keeps us humble, brings us greater merit, makes us have
frequent recourse to God, thus preserving us from offending him and unites us
more closely to him in the bonds of his holy love.
Finally, we should be
united to God’s will in regard to the time and manner of our death. One day
Saint Gertrude, while climbing up a small hill, lost her footing and fell into
a ravine below. After her companions had come to her assistance, they asked her
if while falling she had any fear of dying without the sacraments. “I earnestly
hope and desire to have the benefit of the sacraments when death is at hand;
still, to my way of thinking, the will of God is more important. I believe that
the best disposition I could have to die a happy death would be to submit
myself to whatever God would wish in my regard. For this reason I desire
whatever kind of death God will be pleased to send me.”
In his “Dialogues”,
Saint Gregory tells of a certain priest, Santolo by name, who was captured by
the Vandals and condemned to death. The barbarians told him to choose the
manner of his death. He refused, saying: “I am in God’s hands and I gladly
accept whatever kind of death he wishes me to suffer at your hands; I wish no
other.” This reply was so pleasing to God that he miraculously stayed the hand
of the executioner ready to behead him. The barbarians were so impressed by the
miracle that they freed their prisoner. As regards the manner of our death,
therefore, we should esteem that the best kind of death for us which God has
designed for us. When therefore we think of our death, let our prayer be: “O
Lord, only let me save my soul and I leave the manner of my death to thee!”
We should likewise unite
ourselves to God’s will when the moment of death is near. What else is this
earth but a prison where we suffer and where we are in constant danger of
losing God? Hence David prayed: “Bring my soul out of prison.” Saint Teresa too
feared to lose God and when she would hear the striking of the clock, she would
find consolation in the thought that the passing of the hour was an hour less
of the danger of losing God.
Saint John of Avila was
convinced that every right-minded person should desire death on account of
living in peril of losing divine grace. What can be more pleasant or desirable
than by dying a good death, to have the assurance of no longer being able to
lose the grace of God? Perhaps you will answer that you have as yet done
nothing to deserve this reward. If it were God’s will that your life should end
now, what would you be doing, living on here against his will? Who knows, you
might fall into sin and be lost! Even if you escaped mortal sin, you could not
live free from all sin. “Why are we so tenacious of life,” exclaims Saint
Bernard, “when the longer we live, the more we sin?” A single venial sin is
more displeasing to God than all the good works we can perform.
Moreover, the person who
has little desire for heaven shows he has little love for God. The true lover
desires to be with his beloved. We cannot see God while we remain here on
earth; hence the saints have yearned for death so that they might go and behold
their beloved Lord, face to face. “Oh, that I might die and behold thy
beautiful face!” sighed Saint Augustine. And Saint Paul: “Having a desire to be
dissolved and to be with Christ.” “When shall I come and appear before the face
of God?” exclaimed the psalmist.
A hunter one day heard
the voice of a man singing most sweetly in the forest. Following the sound, he
came upon a leper horribly disfigured by the ravages of his disease. Addressing
him he said: “How can you sing when you are so terribly afflicted and your
death is so near at hand?” And the leper: “Friend, my poor body is a crumbling
wall and it is the only thing that separates me from my God. When it falls I
shall go forth to God. Time for me is indeed fast running out, so every day I
show my happiness by lifting my voice in song.”
Lastly, we should unite
ourselves to the will of God as regards our degree of grace and glory. True, we
should esteem the things that make for the glory of God, but we should show the
greatest esteem for those that concern the will of God. We should desire to
love God more than the seraphs, but not to a degree higher than God has
destined for us. Saint John of Avila says: “I believe every saint has had the
desire to be higher in grace than he actually was. However, despite this, their
serenity of soul always remained unruffled. Their desire for a greater degree
of grace sprang not from a consideration of their own good, but of God’s. They
were content with the degree of grace God had meted out for them, though
actually God had given them less. They considered it a greater sign of true
love of God to be content with what God had given them, than to desire to have
received more.”
This means, as Rodriguez
explains it, we should be diligent in striving to become perfect, so that
tepidity and laziness may not serve as excuses for some to say: “God must help
me; I can do only so much for myself.” Nevertheless, when we do fall into some
fault, we should not lose our peace of soul and union with the will of God,
which permits our fall; nor should we lose our courage. Let us rise at once
from this fall, penitently humbling ourselves and by seeking greater help from
God, let us continue to march resolutely on the highway of the spiritual life.
Likewise, we may well desire to be among the seraphs in heaven, not for our own
glory, but for God’s, and to love him more; still we should be resigned to his
will and be content with that degree of glory which in his mercy he has set for
us.
It would be a serious
defect to desire the gifts of supernatural prayer – specifically, ecstasies,
visions and revelations. The masters of the spiritual life say that souls thus
favored by God, should ask him to take them away so that they may love him out
of pure faith – a way of greater security. Many have come to perfection without
these supernatural gifts; the only virtues worth-while are those that draw the
soul to holiness of life, namely, the virtue of uniformity with God’s holy
will. If God does not wish to raise us to the heights of perfection and glory,
let us unite ourselves in all things to his holy will, asking him in his mercy,
to grant us our soul’s salvation. If we act in this manner, the reward will not
be slight which we shall receive from the hands of God who loves above all
others, souls resigned to his holy will.
7. Conclusion.
Finally we should
consider the events which are happening to us now and which will happen to us
in the future, as coming from the hands of God. Everything we do should be
directed to this one end: to do the will of God and to do it solely for the
reason that God wills it. To walk more securely on this road we must depend on
the guidance of our superiors in external matters, and on our directors in
internal matters, to learn from them God’s will in our regard, having great
faith in the words of our Lord: “He that heareth you, heareth me.”
Above all, let us bend
all our energies to serve God in the way he wishes. This remark is made so that
we may avoid the mistake of him who wastes his time in idle day-dreaming. Such
a one says, “If I were to become a hermit, I would become a saint” or “If I
were to enter a monastery, I would practice penance” or “If I were to go away
from here, leaving friends and companions, I would devote long hours to
prayer.” If, If, If – all these if’s! In the meantime such a person goes from
bad to worse. These idle fancies are often temptations of the devil, because
they are not in accord with God’s will. Hence we should dismiss them summarily
and rouse ourselves to serve God only in that way which he has marked out for
us. Doing his holy will, we shall certainly become holy in those surroundings
in which he has placed us.
Let us will always and
ever only what God wills; for so doing, he will press us to his heart. To this
end let us familiarize ourselves with certain texts of sacred scripture that
invite us to unite ourselves constantly with the divine will: “Lord, what wilt
thou have me do?” Tell me, my God, what thou wilt have me do, that I may will
it also, with all my heart. “I am thine, save thou me.” I am no longer my own,
I am thine, O Lord, do with me as thou wilt.
If some particularly
crashing misfortune comes upon us, for example, the death of a relative, loss
of goods, let us say: “Yea, Father, for so it hath seemed good in thy sight.”
Yes, my God and my Father, so be it, for such is thy good pleasure. Above all, let
us cherish that prayer of our Lord, which he himself taught us: “Thy will be
done on earth as it is in heaven.” Our Lord bade Saint Catherine of Genoa to
make a notable pause at these words whenever she said the Our Father, praying
that God’s holy will be fulfilled on earth with the same perfection with which
the saints do it in heaven. Let this be our practice also, and we shall
certainly become saints.
May the divine will be loved and praised! May the Immaculate Virgin be also praised!
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